After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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