She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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