I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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