you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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