he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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