who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
