i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
