in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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