Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
