Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
