After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
