the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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