Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.

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(210): View more from Texas

How crunk are you?

(713): View more from Texas

I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins

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(734): View more from Michigan

I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex

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(404): View more from Georgia

No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.

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(909): View more from California

He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

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(941): View more from Florida

I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?

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