He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
