can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
