listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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