You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
