my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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