i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
