If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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