i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
