question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
