I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
