Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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