You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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