Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
