Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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