i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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