It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Randomize
