party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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