i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
