All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
