He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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