no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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