I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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