On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
