dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
