My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
