I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
