I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
