do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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