Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My penis needs a shock collar
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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