Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
