that's an acceptable place to lick
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
