Are we in a gay sports bar?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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