Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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