doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
