Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
