i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
