dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize