im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
