VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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