I accidentally had phone sex last night
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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