YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
