I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
