hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
