Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
