Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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