the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
