so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
