i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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