drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
